I believe it's working...

As I've recently written, the weather here is SoCal has been overcast and dreary. But, yesterday and today have been Glorious! =) The Vitamin D does seem to help my mood, although I am still having the shooting pains. Oh well. I'll get through it...I hope the warmer sunny weather will help. Waking up to blue skies has definitely helped my mentality. To me, that's a huge step! =)

In conversation today with some friends, the topic of Blood Type came up. We read some very interesting articles. I'll posted the links below. I am O+ and strangely enough, the diet recommended for me includes a variable diet of foods rich in iodine! (Not too good for hypER people). One article states that O+ people are prone to hypOthyroid symptoms, guess I missed that part of the blood cell. ;)~ But there are a bunch of things listed that make sense to how I am as a person and how my body reacts to things. So very cool! =) Who knows what else I'll learn from these sites, I look forward to reading more.

http://www.thenaturalhealthplace.com/Articles/BloodTypeO.html

http://www.dadamo.com/bloodtype_O.htm

Yay for the day!

I actually feel pretty good today, other than still being tired...no matter how much coffee I've had this morning. Mentally though, I feel very energetic and social. Big improvement from the past few days, that's for sure. I guess the Vitamin D Is working! =) YAY! I hope this continues!

Reminders...

The company I work for has blood drives every few months which I think is absolutely great. It just sucks for me because I can't donate. I used to as often as I could (when I wasn't getting something pierced, have to wait 6months after that). 
Now every time I see a flier, a poster, or an e-mail relating to the blood drive I am reminded yet again, that I am sick. 
I've been feeling mentally better in the past month or so, but the last few weeks have had me all jumbled up emotionally. When it comes to "that time of the month" I've noticed a huge change in the way I feel and think. I dislike it all to the max!!! Feeling completely alone, slipping into a depression - knowing, but not being able to stop myself. 

Since knowing that I have a Vitamin D deficiency I've looked back and I've realized how much the weather has affected me. I've said, for as long as I can remember that, I need the sun, overcast weather makes me gloomy. Well, apparently I'm right, in more ways than I realized. Go figure, I move out to "Sunny Southern California" with my husband and it's been overcast now for almost two months. The afternoons the sun will break through for a little while, but of course, I am inside and unable to enjoy it. When my husband and I were in St. Lucia for our honeymoon, I felt great! Now I know, it's because I was in the strong hot sun almost all day, everyday (that, and being on my honeymoon ;] ). I hope that the supplement of Vitamin D will help, it's been two weeks now, should be seeing some improvement soon.

I've been seeing a lot people around my neighborhood with babies. I hear them at night in our complex... People I know are getting pregnant all the time, (it seems). The comments from friends "now that you're married..", etc... is making me remember every minute of every day that I can't have my dream come true...yet. At least I am hoping it's only Yet. At my last visit to my Endo, she made a comment that if I want to start trying for a baby, we'd hold off on the RAI. So different from what she's said in the past. I believe it's because my husband was with me. But that made me think. Do I really want to try, now. As much as I truly do, I know I would not be able to handle having a child. Hearing the babies in my complex cry at night not only makes me want one, but it also makes me really annoyed. I don't want to deal with a crying kid. To not be able to sleep a full night, I'm a huge Crank if I don't get my sleep. If I loose any, I'll be unbearable, to myself and to my poor husband who has to deal with me enough.

I know I've written that I'm unsure if I should get a second opinion for my GD, but as my husband pointed out, this Endo has helped, and we are continually seeing results. I guess I'm just impatient. I wanted the results I have now, the day after I first went to her. My levels are coming down, the "plan" is to level out then reduce my medication until I no longer need it or I need RAI. At least this is the impression I got from her. Either way, I am a few steps closer to "Well" than I was six months ago.
That is something I need to Remember everyday!

6/30/10 - forgot to post this

Well, the first couple days of Vit. D didn't seem to be much different. Not that I expected them to be... 

I have not been sleeping well lately. Not sure if it's my bed or what, but I have been waking up so sore and achy. The shooting pains have been coming back as well. Shooting through my arms mostly, but also my knees feel like someone is trying to dig something out of them.


The worst thing this past week is how emotional I've become. I've been crying at the drop of a hat. I just want to curl up in a ball by myself. I feel like being alone, want to wrap myself in a ball on the couch and do nothing. But at the same time, all I want is for someone to be with me so I'm not alone. I'm quite the mixed up person...as you can tell. 

Let's see...

...what Vitamin D will do for me. 

My Endo increased my dose of Methimezole to 30mg./day - 15mg in the morning, 15mg. at night and she also gave me 50,000 iu of Vitamin D twice a week for 8 weeks. I need to be 1,000 iu from then on. I really hope that I start to feel better. Today is the first dose of Vit. D...fingers are crossed.

I've been researching  and reading articles about iodine in the diet and what foods are high in iodine. It's amazing, I'm surprised I can eat anything. I have noticed in my own daily life how I feel much "crazier" on days where I realize I've had more iodine rich foods. I plan to be much more conscience of what I eat... This is gonna suck, but I know in the long run it'll be better for me.

Blood is so cool

Got my blood drawn this morning, worst part, I had to fast! (I'm not a happy person if I'm hungry!) 
I know it sounds horrible, but I like watching the viles fill with my blood. But I don't like the feeling of lightheaded-ness afterward... 

Blood amazes me, how can something so "simple" be so intricate and amazing? How can they know so much from such a small amount? I am so very thankful that it is possible. I can't wait to get my results, is the dosage I'm on doing the job well enough? Do I have to have it increased? Will this be the sample that causes my Dr. to say, "We need a new plan."? I think I'm ready to push forward, not let this disease get to me anymore. I want to be done with it, I need to know what's next!

Strange

I woke up this morning not feeling very "with it", but as the day goes on, I feel much more mentally clear. Although, the pain running through my arms is almost unbearable. I'm at work, so it's difficult to keep myself in check. I want to scream every time I feel the pain, but all I do is squeeze and pray. I might end up with bruises this week if I can't find another way to help it subside. 

Two days in...

I haven't noticed many positive changes since changing my dosage.  Instead, I have been feeling even more tired than before, although I have been sleeping for longer intervals during the night... My body feels so weak and useless. It hurts to carry my purse for more than two minuets. I feel so mentally worn out, emotionally "stuck", I really have no other way to describe how I feel. My throat has been feeling swollen, but not to the point of pain, just annoyance. I've also noted that my energy levels have been fluctuating quite drastically. Right now, I've had one large cup of coffee and I feel ready to run a marathon, but when I stand up, I feel so tired and lightheaded.
My heart feels like it's pounding out of my chest just by walking up a couple flights of stairs... ={
I hope beyond all hopes, that this Will get better and that my life Will return to "normal".
A week and a half and I see my Endo., I hope that she will have some better news for me.

Another thing that has me all mixed up, I feel that even though my symptoms are not as bad as others, I can't help but complain and wish it wasn't me. I know every person is different and everyone's body is different, I just feel so guilty for complaining and trying to find a solution to fix My "problems". Things Could be worse, and I am thankful they are not. I hope that I am not making others think I'm a jerk for complaining while they are dealing with worse symptoms than me.

Trying something different

I've decided to start splitting my dosage, I'll be taking it twice a day instead of taking it all at once. I am hoping that it will help with how I feel. 10 mg in the morning and 15 mg before bed. 
We'll see how it goes, but if I don't see any improvement in 10 days, I'm going back to taking it all at once. The less I have have to remember, the better!

Where do I go from here?

I am going to my Endo in two weeks. I've been on 25mg. of Methimezole. I don't feel like I'm getting much better.

What to do?

Last time I saw my Dr., she said that if I am even considering having kids, I should do RAI and then wait 6 months to a year before even trying, in order for my body to adjust.
She has not even mentioned surgery or long term medication options.
Should I find a new Endo and or at least get a second opinion?
Should I go forward with the RAI?
What is the best thing for Me to do?


I can't stand the emotional imbalance anymore. 
I don't like who I've become, or the feelings rushing through me at "warp speed" at any moment of the day. I guess I'm just making myself a little nuts because I've been feeling that want kids...Now. Or maybe I'm not sure I want kids but want some sort of direction as to what I am really truly feeling and not just 'feeling' because I'm imbalanced. 
I know that nobody can tell me what I am feeling. Nobody can tell me which direction to go. Will I ever get back to "normal"?  Or at least "normal enough" to be able to have kids, or have a life that's fulfilling to me? My feelings today have me questioning the direction of my life. 


No matter how much research I do on RAI, surgery, or long term medicating, I am more confused and scared than ever. Why can't there be a solution to this disease that doesn't make things worse! I've been reading that even if the Thyroid can get put under control, the actual disease (Graves') will continue to screw the body up.
There are risks with doing nothing, there are risks in taking medication, there are risks for taking RAI and risks in having surgery... Where can I find the solution with the least amount of risk for me?