Sunday, May 5, 2013

Surgery Update

I don't really know how to put things into the appropriate words. But I feel pretty darn amazing!

My surgery day started with a mix of dread, excitement and anxiety. The drive down to the hospital was wave after wave of these emotions. I was a jittery mess waiting for the hospital staff to get the ball rolling. Once I was in my gown, things time seemed to go fast and slow at the same time.

All the nurses and my surgeon came by while I was waiting to go in and made me feel very comfortable. The constant questioning was a bit overwhelming at times, but I couldn't ask for better hospital staff.

When the anesthesiologist came in with the drugs, the affect was immediate. I felt like in was on cloud nine as I was wheeled into the operating room. My surgeon held my hand and made sure I was comfortable and ok while I went under, into the deepest, most restful sleep I've ever had. I've never felt so cared for by medical staff.

The instant I woke up, I felt an overwhelming heat. Like my body was steaming itself, inside out. But as I came to a fuller awareness and the nurses did their best to cool me down, I realized a change in the way my body felt. My mind was cloudy from the sedatives and pain killers, so the most noticeable change didn't strike me until later in the evening.
I felt calm, peaceful and fairly rested despite the pain in my throat.

On the way home from the hospital, I realized that my body was calm. I was not shaking or feeling jittery. This has been something I haven't felt in years. To be able to sit, stand or lie down without some part if my body moving uncontrollably, was the most noticeable and wonderful thing. My heart rate is normal again, another amazing realization, to not feel the beating radiating throughout my whole body is an indescribable emotional, calm.

As the days go on, I feel more and more tired as my body heals, and the mental clarity goes up and down. But I know as time goes on and my body adjusts things will only get better. The incision looks great, the swelling has fluctuated but is down today. My surgeon said there would be bruising, but I have yet to see much if any at all.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Dazed & Confused

In a haze of anxiety and surreal-ness.

Waiting for the unknown is the hardest thing in the world to do. I still have no idea what time my surgery will be and that is eating me alive!