Saturday, January 30, 2010

here we go...

So I know I just posted my very first but I feel the need to write some more. It helps me put mind into focus and ease. I may not be able to get my thoughts across in a way that everyone will understand, but I know I will. ;)  

It's Saturday morning, almost afternoon and yet I have no motivation to  get anything done. The phone keeps ringing, we have a new phone number and I haven't put us on the "Do Not Call" list yet. looking into it now. I am about to scream though if it rings again before I can get it done.  - ahhh, done. Thank goodness for the internet. 

We have a neighbor, ugh, a bunch, but the one directly across from us is the most annoying person I have ever met. She and her son act like they own the complex. They Stomp up the stairs, I mean Stomp, not just run or walk but Stomp EVERYtime they come or go. Slam doors, yell - yet they are only talking and bug us for everything imaginable. One of these time I am going to say something and not be nice about it. We've already had to yell at her kid  and his friends for making too much noise. Teach your kids consideration for others, Please!! I'm used to kids and noise, used to sharing space with others so don't think I'm just being snobby, these people are really annoying! Our neighbors below us can be just as bad, yet they choose to make noise at night when we're trying to sleep. They are a group of kids about my age who play music loud with bass pumping through the walls and floors, and the out their windows into the courtyard that echos into our closed windows. I can't tell you how happy I'll be to move into a better place. It's only temporary, it's only temporary...

Ok, I feel a little better having vented. 

For me to know, and to share with you...

I was diagnosed with Graves' Disease a few months ago, October 2009, and my life has been drastically changed. For anyone who is not familiar with this disease, it is an autoimmune disease  that is most times genetic. I have been blessed to have a mild "case", so much so that I never would have put things together to go to my Dr. with concerns. If my gyno did not notice my neck being swollen, I never would have known, all my symptoms seemed to me, to have other causes. Stress, allergies, aging, "that time of the month", these are the things I blamed my symptoms on. To this day I have to remind myself that I am sick, not blame them on "minor inconveniences". I wish I had the patience to write out everything that I feel and go through all at once, I hope that writing this blog I'll be able to, over time. I'm not looking for attention or for pity, I am hoping that people will be able to just understand and know that I am not faking a disease. 

Today, my legs and arms have shooting pain going through them and I am very very tired. My throat feels like it's almost swollen shut. But this has been happening everyday fort the past week. I am still looking for a Dr. out here in CA, not an easy task as I can only go off of what a few strangers say. My Endocrinologist from NJ had put me 10mg of Methimazole a day, for 90 days. I am sure that the medication was doiing it's job to calm my thyroid, it made me very, hmmm, what word or phrase should I use to describe how I felt and how others saw me...maybe "off my rocker". Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
My mind was everywhere, I couldn't concentrate, I still can't (it's taken me two days to write this much) and my mood swings are incredible to say the least. My normal bodily functions seem to be out of wack. I am eating or at least hungry all the time. If I'm not eating, it's because I don't have the energy that it takes to do it and still be functioning at work. Work, hmmm, I've only been at my new job for a little over a month, it's awesome. But I feel that I am not truly appreciating it, I can't get excited about it like I used to about things that I love. I don't think, notice think not feel, that they are getting my best there, nobody is. Although it is my temporary "best", one day I'll be "normal" again and things will go smoothly. Right now I am off any meds, I can fully see now what I couldn't see before the diagnosis and explanation, symptoms of something not quite right with me.

I apologize to anyone reading this, I think I might be jumping around without finishing thoughts. Welcome to my world!