tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44334926586058306612024-02-19T03:08:19.982-08:00My life with Graves'Some ramblings of an individual diagnosed with an Autoimmune Disease called Graves' and how it affects life in general.
I may not look sick, but I am. I am learning to deal with it and hoping to find ways to not let it consume me.Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-82459236412399783392014-05-03T16:01:00.001-07:002014-05-03T16:18:38.124-07:001 year Post Surgery<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP3o-IdDX4y-8pUvrQCGiv_65Goubn0YOSJ4YtJGMFmyeWNRWwpgXkucMhLrTyLxosdSHqHSKjEAtBSWSfKP93dXqdEXsCRjCpXmFaJZMAwCDCsq-l-JWX8y8gl8Yfht0YMR0d3N6G0JTi/s640/blogger-image--1492947866.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP3o-IdDX4y-8pUvrQCGiv_65Goubn0YOSJ4YtJGMFmyeWNRWwpgXkucMhLrTyLxosdSHqHSKjEAtBSWSfKP93dXqdEXsCRjCpXmFaJZMAwCDCsq-l-JWX8y8gl8Yfht0YMR0d3N6G0JTi/s640/blogger-image--1492947866.jpg"></a></div>I can't believe it's been a full year since my total thyroidectemy. It feels like a whole lifetime. In a way, I guess it has been. There have been so many changes in my life. Although the day to day can be stressful and exhausting, I really should not be complaining one bit. When I think how my life was, while battling to be in control of my body, my health, myself, compared to how I feel about it today, I couldn't be happier. </span><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">My body has done well to adapt to not having a thyroid and I am thankful for that every morning. My scar is healing quite nicely and my mind is clearer today than it had been for years. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I'm on a journey to find my nitch in life, and I'm sure I am on the right track. I am learning to live a more holistic lifestyle and am enjoying the ride. Every time I learn something new, I do think to myself, could I have done more to regulate or even heal my body naturally, instead of doing surgery? It's too late for me to go back, but I would encourage anyone looking to find what's right for them to research a more holistic way of healing their body. It's more than the physical, the emotional and mental needs to be in sync as well. This is difficult to achieve when you don't feel you know where to turn while being sick with something like hyperthyroidism. The mind is clouded, your emotions are all over the place, your body feels drastically different, not only everyday, but every hour. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Find a support group, talk to your doctors, find someone in the holistic field that can give you guidance to living a while life without supplementing a natural healing process with western medical doctors' prescriptions. You need to do what is right for you, and although looking back I wish I had done more for myself in the healing process, I do not regret my decision to have my thyroid removed. I am better everyday for taking out that toxic gland. I am happier not having the weight of a decision to make anymore or the pressure to do something I am not ok with. My life is full of joy, without the dark cloud of that disease following my every move. My body is more in sync with my mind and heart, all around things are falling into place. There are bumps and ditches but such is the road of life. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Some words of advice; Be grateful. Every day, be grateful for every thing that is happening to you. You may feel like the world is spinning out of control, but remember, everything happens for a reason. The trials you are put through, are what make you a better version of yourself. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Stay strong and keep your circle small with the people that you love. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Thank the people in your life for just being there. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I Am grateful, for the journey I am on, for the trials I've been put through and for all the people in my life. Each one holds a place in my heart that can never be filled by anyone else. </div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Love to you all,</div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Julie </div>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-16132999281563045922013-10-16T06:56:00.001-07:002013-10-16T07:14:56.475-07:00Emotions and PatienceFor so long, my emotions were either so intense I couldn't sort them out, or they were nonexistent. <div><br></div><div>Now, I think they are on point. But I am having a hard time allowing myself to just feel them. I've been running away from them, afraid of what I feel.</div><div><br></div><div>Last night, I had an amazing clarification. Something as simple as laying in savasana on the living room floor allowed me to clear my mind, take deep breathes and give myself a chance to bare my body and soul to my mind. </div><div>I let myself be me, in all my flaws, in all my fascinations, regrets and hopes for the future. I layed it out for myself and did not judge. This allowed me to let go, to release the anxiety, expectations and stresses I hold myself to. Life is not perfect, I may not be where in life I want to be, but I will get there and I can't allow myself to beat me up for not being "on schedule". </div><div><br></div><div>I need to remember that, not only does my body still need to heal, but so does my heart and mind. Four years of emotional and physical roller coasters does not get fixed overnight, or even in a few months. It may take me years and as scary as that is to me, I've realized I need to let myself be ok with that. </div><div><br></div><div>I've always had patience with others, now I need to learn to have it with myself. </div>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-13813274743395030942013-10-01T20:58:00.001-07:002013-10-01T20:58:54.694-07:00Five months Post-OpTime flies! I can't believe it's been five months since I had my thyroid removed. Things have been pretty crazy. Life can be quite overwhelming but I feel like I'm heading in a good direction.<div><br></div><div>I had my levels tested last week and according to my Dr., my thyroid and calcium levels are normal. I am looking forward to my next appointment, to talk to him and see how many changes he'll notice and to get a copy of the report so I can compare to the past year. </div><div><br></div><div>As far as how I am feeling...overall I feel great. There are days where I still get pains in my arms but it's not nearly as bad as it had been. I still feel like I'm tired a lot of the time, but that just seems to be a part of life, no matter what I do to improve my sleep. I've gone through a lot of changes in a short amount of time this year, beyond just the surgery. I can not complain with how I am adjusting. Mentally, I feel so much more clear, emotionally I feel more connected to myself than I had ever been. </div><div>About a month after my surgery I was still felling pretty crappy, hormanally, so I took myself off birth control and within a week I felt soooo much better. But I am still feel like I am getting cysts, so I am looking for a new Dr., to get on a better path of control with that. I'm not sure what else can be done, as my personal research has not brought anything to light. </div><div><br></div><div>My scar is looking pretty great. I'm not sure if the one section is just skin overlap or if it's a keloid scar. Either way, I am not worried. I have no remorse or embarrassment from my scar. It's a constant reminder that I am better off than I was before. <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmdJYqfge7DV1UDrvoOaDqVIZEUROmoPmapZ7bZ9JYdjXs_ISw_HdC7MEfN0XLp3cklE84h2xkuqjhE6k9X9YxjMnLrgTYnf1qxkzC0I7aEvACx14wIcHRoLJqYVpQtOnQfRwqLqEnLQMH/s640/blogger-image--254028847.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmdJYqfge7DV1UDrvoOaDqVIZEUROmoPmapZ7bZ9JYdjXs_ISw_HdC7MEfN0XLp3cklE84h2xkuqjhE6k9X9YxjMnLrgTYnf1qxkzC0I7aEvACx14wIcHRoLJqYVpQtOnQfRwqLqEnLQMH/s640/blogger-image--254028847.jpg"></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I am feeling more myself than I have in years past and am so grateful for this. I will not ever take for granted having a clear mind and healthy body. There is sure to a bumpy road ahead as life goes on, but I will not let myself be discouraged as I have in the past. Life is too short and too amazing to let this disease control any part of it. I may never be able to conquer Graves' Disease, but I can control how I let it affect me. </div>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-20523910476048562372013-05-05T19:03:00.001-07:002013-05-06T10:23:49.380-07:00Surgery UpdateI don't really know how to put things into the appropriate words. But I feel pretty darn amazing!<br />
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My surgery day started with a mix of dread, excitement and anxiety. The drive down to the hospital was wave after wave of these emotions. I was a jittery mess waiting for the hospital staff to get the ball rolling. Once I was in my gown, things time seemed to go fast and slow at the same time. <br />
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All the nurses and my surgeon came by while I was waiting to go in and made me feel very comfortable. The constant questioning was a bit overwhelming at times, but I couldn't ask for better hospital staff.<br />
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When the anesthesiologist came in with the drugs, the affect was immediate. I felt like in was on cloud nine as I was wheeled into the operating room. My surgeon held my hand and made sure I was comfortable and ok while I went under, into the deepest, most restful sleep I've ever had. I've never felt so cared for by medical staff. <br />
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The instant I woke up, I felt an overwhelming heat. Like my body was steaming itself, inside out. But as I came to a fuller awareness and the nurses did their best to cool me down, I realized a change in the way my body felt. My mind was cloudy from the sedatives and pain killers, so the most noticeable change didn't strike me until later in the evening. <br />
I felt calm, peaceful and fairly rested despite the pain in my throat. <br />
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On the way home from the hospital, I realized that my body was calm. I was not shaking or feeling jittery. This has been something I haven't felt in years. To be able to sit, stand or lie down without some part if my body moving uncontrollably, was the most noticeable and wonderful thing. My heart rate is normal again, another amazing realization, to not feel the beating radiating throughout my whole body is an indescribable emotional, calm. <br />
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As the days go on, I feel more and more tired as my body heals, and the mental clarity goes up and down. But I know as time goes on and my body adjusts things will only get better. The incision looks great, the swelling has fluctuated but is down today. My surgeon said there would be bruising, but I have yet to see much if any at all. <br />
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Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-1208310948459440312013-05-02T06:50:00.001-07:002013-05-02T06:50:26.247-07:00Dazed & ConfusedIn a haze of anxiety and surreal-ness. <br />
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Waiting for the unknown is the hardest thing in the world to do. I still have no idea what time my surgery will be and that is eating me alive!Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-69065272214762075602013-04-25T11:14:00.001-07:002013-04-25T11:21:36.790-07:00One week until SurgeryMay 3rd is coming up quicker than I am prepared for. It has taken so long to get everything scheduled that it feels like a year, and now I'm down to the wire. The anticipation is like nothing I've ever felt before, a mix of emotions, I don't really know how to interpret some. Anticipation, fear, excitement, nervousness, relief, and anxiety are the ones I recognize. Maybe the blend of all is what is causing my confusion.<br />
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This week has been a bit stressful, strenuous even. I have had more blood drawn in two days than I have had in six months prior. More questions asked than I knew how to answer. The questions were probably the hardest to "deal" with. Detailed answers required to clear me for the impending procedure. The knowledge of my physical being, mental stability and emotional awareness has been pushed aside in order to function in my daily routine, now surfaced and scrutinized. The stresses I've been avoiding have now been shoved into the forefront of my mind. I have now have been analyzing and probably over analyzing every detail of my life of the past six months. The timeframe of my spike in hormonal levels. I am exhausted, frustrated and amazed at my ability to so easily push aside things that make me, me, just in order to be able to be responsible. Being aware of what I am capable of is empowering, mind blowing and scary. I am nervous and excited about what I will be capable of once my body is functioning at healthy, optimal levels. <br />
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So many questions swarm in my mind. Who will I be? Will my personality change? Will my feelings surface? Will my focus be regained? For so long I have been diseased, my whole life an emotional, physical and mental roller coaster. Will my body and my mind finally be one? Will I be able to handle the changes? Will the battle of too much energy and not enough finally balance out? Will I finally be able to consistently follow through on things I say I'll do? <br />
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The anticipation is sometimes too much to bare, and so as is my usual response, i am pushing aside the feelings and thoughts in order to get through the next seven days. <br />
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As always, thank you for your support, thoughts and prayers. <br />
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Side note: my surgery day will be chronicled by pictures and videos from my closest friends. They have been the best support system anyone could ask for. I am grateful beyond words for them.<br />
I will update as soon as I am able. :)<br />
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Goodbye old and hello New!Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-54089729950007208162013-04-13T11:18:00.001-07:002013-04-13T11:30:25.711-07:00Last LabsI am in disbelief at my most current levels. I know I have been off and not feeling that great, but these are just so out of range for me while being on meds, that I'm in shock.<br />
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My last labs done in Dec. 2012, before being put on 10mg. of Methimezole 1x a day, were not that much worse than they are now. In fact, TSH didn't change at all, T3 went up but both T4s have come down. <br />
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Phew! What a busy, exhausting and draining week that will probably be.<br />
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Less than 4 weeks to go till surgery and I am getting more anxious and excited, every day. <br />
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My allergies have been really bad the past few days causing my glands to swell. Hoping to get them under control soon!! Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-41160270756837194972013-03-29T07:00:00.000-07:002013-04-05T16:05:11.511-07:00Surgery ConsultationI went to my surgery consultation on March 28th. I feel more confident that surgery is the right option for me. My Dr. is great, he's funny, had great mannerisms and I feel comfortable with his experience.<br />
One of my best friends came with me and I know I wouldn't have been able to Absorb all the information had I been there alone. I knew most of what the Dr. spoke about from doing my own research. But now feel much better knowing that what I've read is accurate. <br />
<br />
I have some appointments with my other doctors in preparation for the removal. I am on a beta blocker (which makes me feel different, not sure what it is, I just feel there's a change) and I had blood drawn yesterday to have my levels checked. I hope to get the results by next week. <br />
<br />
The operation itself does not scare me at all, but the way I will feel afterwards is what is weighing on my mind. I have been aware if being so up and down for the past 3 1/2 years, that I don't know what healthy and "normal" should feel like. Will it be a more physical lightness and calm or will it be more emotional/mental? Or could it be both...? I know I've mentioned in past posts that I believe this is something I've had my entire life. The ups and downs correlate with many events in the past. So having consistent levels from now on will be a completely new experience that I am looking forward to with excitement, anticipation and nervousness. <br />
<br />
I will update again when things are more concrete and closer to May 3rd, my surgery date. <br />
<br />
Thank you for your thoughts, prayers concerns and encouraging words.Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-7997517382672274232013-02-03T08:02:00.000-08:002013-02-03T08:02:10.654-08:00Surgery....But WAIT!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I finally, after waiting almost a month, have a date for my Surgery CONSULTATION. March 28th, I was told that the actual Surgery won't be until at least FOUR WEEKS AFTER the Consult.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Needless to say, I am full of mixed emotions. Glad to have an idea of when, but frustrated that I have to wait so long. I've considered finding a new Endocrinologist, but I do trust my current one and he said the surgeon is worth waiting for as he is, and I quote "Outstanding".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I will continue to take my thyroid inhibitor and try to have an overall healthier lifestyle in hopes of enjoying the wait, (as much a possible).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fingers crossed that the waiting will go quickly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you to all who have supported me, I can't tell you how much I appreciate the kind words and offers for help. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Julie :)</span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-33856814832625760442013-01-09T11:11:00.000-08:002013-03-07T09:51:27.252-08:00HYPER Again...Next Step Is....<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I've not been feeling myself at all lately: racing heart, palpitations, sweating, temp fluctuations, foggy mind/confusion and anxiety among some other things.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I've been in remission for over a year and a half but some Big changes have happened in my life and now I've gone Hyper again! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I went for blood work about three weeks ago, when my Dr.'s office called to say they received the report, they said I needed to come in asap! Thanks to the holidays, I had to wait until yesterday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My Dr. wants to do something more permanent. I could do RAI (radioactive iodine) or surgery. I have opted for <b>SURGERY</b>, <u>95% of my thyroid will be removed.</u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I am really looking forward to having something done, once and for all. I will admit that I am nervous about the surgery, but I know many people have had this procedure done and are now better for it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My current levels are:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>TSH </b>- <b>0.01</b> L</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>T4, Total</b> - <b>33.3</b> H<br />
<b>T3, Uptake</b> - <b>40</b> H<br />
<b>T4, Free</b>, Calculated <b>13.3</b> H</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I am hoping that being on 10mg. methimezole will bring my levels closer to normal so I don't have to wait long for surgery.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Keeping my fingers crossed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-57118136899934950972012-11-30T19:00:00.000-08:002012-11-30T19:00:25.732-08:00Coming out of Remission...?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The past few weeks I have been feeling some old symptoms creeping back. Had some sort of panic/anxiety attack on my way home from work tonight and my leg started shaking. Scared the crap out of me. My heart has been pounding erratically today. I am hoping that I'll feel better tomorrow, otherwise it's off to the ER. So hoping that GD is not going to take over my life again. I've been in remission for just over a year but now...I feel like life is spiraling out of control again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't realize how many symptoms I have had of late, until I started writing them down tonight. So many of them I related to having a cold, or allergies or my menstrual cycle, but seeing them on paper reminds me how everything in the body is connected. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Symptoms I've been feeling over the past two weeks</span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not sleeping much at night/exhausted all day</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shooting pains in fingers and arms</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rapid Heart beat</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Memory lapsing</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brain fog</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dry/gritty/heavy eyes</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Drastic Body Temp changes</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stuffy head and ears</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can't get deep breath</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Heartburn</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gas</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Breast enlargement/tenderness</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back//Hip pain</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eyes not focusing</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Feeling Jittery/Shaking/trembling hands</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Legs shaking/"jumping" while driving</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-12853993613280040252012-05-29T18:11:00.000-07:002012-05-29T18:11:06.699-07:00What is going on!?!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have not been myself lately, at all. I've been feeling completely disconnected from myself and not interested in anything. As of my last appointment with my Endo, my levels are within normal range. I've been having some added stress, so I have expected to not fully feel myself, but what I've been experiencing is way beyond what I think is just stress. I was completely unaware of any of it though, until recently, when my husband told me what he's noticed. Now I can see it pretty clearly...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I got my levels checked a couple weeks ago and they are "within normal range", but I did notice that they are elevated from when I was taken off my medication last year.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been looking into Depression with Graves, being Euthyroid, and I'm feeling like I am learning about Graves from scratch. I don't remember anything I learned when first diagnosed! Reading the findings, I feel so overwhelmed and I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I don't want to believe that this disease is still affecting me. I want to be done with it!!!</span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-321585073487084792012-05-11T06:35:00.001-07:002012-05-11T06:35:13.585-07:00Poem of questions - What do you think?My World<br />
<br />
© Cara Jayde Mackellar<br />
<br />
Love. Is that what I crave?<br />
If it is, then why can't I find it?<br />
Hate. Does that mean anger?<br />
If it does, then why do I feel hollow?<br />
Pain. Does that mean suffering?<br />
If it does, then why does it feel comforting?<br />
Memories. Are they not images of the past?<br />
If they are, why is there only shadows?<br />
Smiles. Does that mean happiness?<br />
If it does, then why does it hurt?<br />
Life. What does it mean?<br />
Should it mean any of these things?<br />
If it doesn't, then why are they there?<br />
<br />
Source: My World, Alone Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-world#ixzz1uTwIwjBN<br />
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com<br />
Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-29919076265023465612012-05-08T14:12:00.001-07:002012-05-08T14:13:50.122-07:00Feeling frustrated...<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've been mentally blocking myself from dwelling on the fact that this Disease still has so much impact on my life. I've been feeling better, but the mood swings are still around. It's like getting hit with a brick sometimes, other times I'll being doing great and slowly but surely, I start feeling angry or sad for no apparent reason. Which of course, in turn makes me frustrated and more angry... I have also been feeling completely disconnected from myself lately. I am looking into the possibility of depression, but I am hoping that it is just an adjustment period and things will improve as time goes on.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've been doing some research to find out exactly what the antibody is that defines Graves' Disease. I'm tired of only finding articles about Hyperthyroidism and only small mentions of what Graves' actually is. I know the symptoms, I've dealt with them for over a year now...but WTH?!?!? How come there is no New news on this disease?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A few months ago, I watched "Behind the Music - Missy Elliot", the story of Missy Elliot's bout with Graves' Disease. Although it's great that she is doing well and that Graves' was talked about, I am sorely disappointed in the way it was portrayed. If I knew nothing about the disease and watched that episode, I would Only think, "Oh, poor Missy E, she lost a ton of weight and got really jittery." (Very sarcastically too, of course). Another "celeb" that was in the news for a thyroid issue was Jose Reyes, former shortstop of the NY Mets (now with the Miami Marlins). His bout with hyperthyroidism was dealt with and brushed under the rug within about a month, and he was only "out of commission" for a couple weeks. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">To me, these instances are not appropriately portrayed in the media. Any disease that is as debilitating as Graves', Hashimotos' or spontaneous thyroiditus, should have more coverage, better information available and better "Treatment" options,. Not just Fix 'Em and Forget 'Em. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I can't tell you how many times I've read and heard about Drs. who don't want anything to do with patients, especially those of us who want and need answers. The "Specialists" don't seem to know anything more than the basic conditions of Thyroid diseases. Most of the Drs. that I've found online or have been told about, seem to concentrate on Diabetes, with Thyroid problems as just PART of their practices. With Thyroid Diseases affecting as many people in the world as they do, why isn't there more concrete information and why don't Drs. do more to increase awareness?? Why does it seem that these diseases get brushed off the shoulders of Medical professionals and the Media alike? Is it because it's 'Hormonal" issues?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><i><b>Awareness needs to be raised, not just about the instant impacts of these diseases, but the residual as well.</b></i></span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-25049940295157160542012-03-12T18:08:00.000-07:002012-03-12T18:08:01.995-07:00Six Months of Remission<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So the Doctor didn't have much to say this appointment. But then again, I didn't really want to be there, I just wanted my lab results and made that pretty clear. He gave me the report from this last time and the one before to compare. I'm still within "normal" range! =) I'm very excited and relieved. I was going to post the numbers of both, but realize now that I don't have a copy of the previous results. But here are the newest ones, blood drawn on March 1:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> <u>Ref. </u></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Range</u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">TSH: 1.08 0.40 - 4.50 </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">T4 Total: 7.6 4.5 - 12</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">T3 Uptake: 32 22 - 35</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">T4 Free Calculated: 2.4 1.4 - 3.8</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">T3 Total: 94 76 - 181</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been feeling, for the most part, the best I've felt in a long time. The symptoms I've been noticing are not symptoms of Graves', instead, just stress. I've been working to reduce the amount of stress in every area of my life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last week, I went for a massage for the first time in two years and it felt amazing! I could literally feel the tension leaving the surface muscles. My mental and emotional state changed for a couple days though, I could tell that my body was purging itself of toxins. I now feel good and plan to continue with a regular massage regimen. :)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, that is all I have to write today...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> You can follow me on twitter, if you would like. I will be tweeting about a positive attitude and stress free living. @juliebmattoon</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-32453343236571041442012-03-07T10:40:00.001-08:002012-03-07T12:25:45.656-08:00Update, to be continued...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been over six months since I was taken off all medication. I've been going through quite a bit since then and stress can feel like a killer... </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lately I've been feeling like I might be going HypER, but when I sat back and really put thought into it, it might be that I've been feeling more HypO, than hypER. The symptoms I've been noticing could go either way, so it's been difficult to figure it out. I haven't been stressing about it though, as I know that I am seeing my Dr. tomorrow and getting the results of my labs taken last week. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I could list all the symptoms I've been feeling, but I really don't want to see them written out. I'm afraid that if I do, I will start obsessing about it and get myself worked up for nothing. I will see what my Dr. has to say before I get ahead of myself. </span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-90517919231260803452011-10-23T17:53:00.000-07:002011-10-23T17:54:26.731-07:00Three Months (almost) of Remission<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: #eeeeee; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">It's been almost three months since coming off all medication and I've been feeling pretty darn great. Apart from this week.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Last week I went for my annual physical and my GP says everything looks great although my blood pressure was a little low. He is not concerned though, due to my history of naturally low BP. It made me smile when he told me I could eat more salt to help raise it. I love salty foods. ;)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; line-height: 18px;"> So after a month of no medication I gained five pounds! I was really excited, but then I weighed myself the other morning and I have lost those pounds again. I'm wondering if it had anything to do with the fact that I have been more physically active lately or if it was the multi-vitamin I have been taking the past couple weeks. I realize now that it contains iodine. I've stopped taking it and have felt more normal than I have in ages!</span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: #eeeeee; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18px;">Although I am "well" again, I do think about what I've been through and all the people just starting out on their journeys. I hope that what I've written will help those people know that they are not alone and will encourage them to research as much as possible about this disease, as there is new information out there. I also hope that what I've written about will educate people on what this disease is capable of, even if what I experienced is not as bad as it could be. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18px;">I am so glad to be moving on with my life, grateful (as weird as that sounds) for this disease. It taught me a lot about the human body and a lot about myself. This might only be a temporary remission, but I am so happy to have a reprieve.</span></span></div>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-67229114308273416912011-09-14T08:33:00.000-07:002011-09-14T08:33:02.907-07:001 Month in Remission - Update<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, it's been a month of no medication, yay!! I had my blood drawn this past Saturday and my Endo's office called this morning to report that my thyroid levels are Normal! :) So glad! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't need to see him until March of 2012, but I'm a little concerened that I don't need to get tested again until a week before my appt. That's SIX MONTHS of not being tested... Is this normal? Wouldn't it make sense to monitor it, at least biMonthly until then? I guess I sound critical, but this my health, I don't like to mess around with it! I'm thinking that if things are still ok in October, when I go for my annual physical with my Primary GP, then I'll just sit back and not worry. But if anything changes in how I feel, then I will most definitely look into getting a personal "script" for bloodwork, online.</span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Hoping to continue in remission "bliss". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">On to figure out other issues...like the probability of fibromyalsia... The fun doesn't stop.</span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Grateful for what I have and for what I don't!</span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-25416627550136786152011-08-10T06:23:00.000-07:002011-08-10T06:23:05.670-07:00Ugh, Allergies...Hoping that's it though! =]<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Went to the ENT Dr. last night. He seems convinced that my breathing issues are because of seasonal allergies. I'm hoping he's right. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was given a steroid nasal inhaler to use every morning, Singulaire for at night, and was told to take Claritin 24hour (w/o the decongestant) every morning as well. I am to follow up in 7-10 days and also get an audio hearing test done. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">On the up side, my blood pressure is down =) and I haven't felt as "crazy" as I have been. I'm still forgetful, but hopfully that will improve with the allergy management.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Here's to feeling fully like myself again soon!!! *clink* ;]</span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-82598032433629458282011-08-09T03:41:00.000-07:002011-08-09T03:41:59.795-07:00Looking forward to some more answers.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yay, I was able to get an appointment with an Ear Nose & Throat Dr. for this evening. I hope to get some answers about not being able to breathe correctly, my ears feeling clogged although they are perfectly clean, my throat feeling thick and my head feeling like it wants to explode at times. Hoping it's just seasonal allergies, but who knows... I'll update as soon as I know something. :)</span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-24885563803194554432011-08-04T13:42:00.000-07:002011-08-04T13:42:25.704-07:00Update - Great News!! =}<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I am done taking Methimezole. My Dr. thinks I'm IN REMISSION!!!! :) YAY!!! I go for blood work in a month to see how I'm doing without ANY medication!!! I'm so relieved to not have to worry about making sure to take them...lol!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have been having some issues with breathing though. My throat has been feeling tick and swollen, my ears have been either ringing or muffled and my seasonal allergies have been really bad this year. So, my Dr. referred me to an ENT Dr., I'm looking forward to being able to get an appointment. Hopefully I'll be able to get a handle on things soon. =}</span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-13877010623727706292011-05-27T18:46:00.000-07:002011-05-27T18:46:32.814-07:00Sheesh, where has the time gone...?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been Quite a while since I've written, Mainly because I've been exhausted! Working ten hours of overtime a week for the past six weeks...and it'll continue for who knows how long. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Other than exhaustion, I've been feeling pretty good. I still have the pains in my arms and legs, arms mostly. My throat is still swollen but not as bad as it has been. My mind is fairly sharp and I've learned to recognize if I'm about to get upset/angry over nothing and able to curb my "want" to release my frustrations...this, I feel is a Big step! ;] </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I go to my Dr. in July and I'm hoping that the visit will bring me closer to having my thyroid removed.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish I had the <s>time</s> energy to put into researching and posting more, but I am Very grateful for the blogs I follow and the sites I'm a part of, to keep me up to date on interesting and informative articles and studies. But I am mostly grateful for just knowing that I am not alone in my frustrations and fears associated with this disease. It's been well over a year since my diagnosis and even though I still Feel as though I am no closer to having a permanent solution, I Know that I am on the right path...This is not something that can be cured, nor can any treatment be successfully done overnight. I am still new on my journey, but I have the privilege of being able to connect to others who are suffering and to those who have been successfully able to live full lives with this disease. This give me hope. </span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-65096491539071422092011-03-28T16:11:00.000-07:002011-03-28T16:11:02.214-07:00Not sure what to say...still HyPO<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It feels like forever since I wrote last. Things have been so busy for me. So much "on my plate" aside from this disease that I felt like I was drowning, no time to write.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, things are starting to slow down, including my thyroid. My Dr. says I'm still hyPO...so now my dose is 5mg-1x day, Every Other day. Hopefully things will begin to start looking brighter.</span>Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433492658605830661.post-23690156618840385572011-02-19T14:23:00.000-08:002011-02-19T14:23:54.854-08:00Deeper Thoughts<style>
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</style><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It's been a very long time since I've been able to think, deeply. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My head has been clouded by this disease (literally and figuratively) and the medication dosage fluctuations. I believe they really made it difficult for me to think and to feel simultaneously. </span>The last year and a half has been only a fuzzy memory. Most of what I remember is sadness, feeling lost, frustration and emptiness. <br />
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The last couple weeks has been, an awakening. An awakening of feelings, thoughts, emotions and clarity. All mixed together yet separate, each in their own way. For the first time in what seems like forever, I've been able to tell my emotions apart. I feel happy again...!!! This feeling I've missed the most. This disease took away so much of me, who I am, my quirks, my humor, my overall outlook on life. During this past year I knew this, but it hasn't been until now that I realized the extent of it. As much as I dislike what I felt, or didn't feel, what I've gone through has helped me appreciate what I had, what I now have and what could be in the future.<br />
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I know this clarity might not last forever and that it's not as good as it could be, but if it sticks around for even a few more weeks, I will be content for the year (I say for now...lol). ;) I find myself looking forward to each day as a new beginning. A brighter, fresh, exciting beginning of life, my life.Julie Falkenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12086739734649408185noreply@blogger.com0