Thursday, June 10, 2010

Where do I go from here?

I am going to my Endo in two weeks. I've been on 25mg. of Methimezole. I don't feel like I'm getting much better.

What to do?

Last time I saw my Dr., she said that if I am even considering having kids, I should do RAI and then wait 6 months to a year before even trying, in order for my body to adjust.
She has not even mentioned surgery or long term medication options.
Should I find a new Endo and or at least get a second opinion?
Should I go forward with the RAI?
What is the best thing for Me to do?

I can't stand the emotional imbalance anymore. 
I don't like who I've become, or the feelings rushing through me at "warp speed" at any moment of the day. I guess I'm just making myself a little nuts because I've been feeling that want kids...Now. Or maybe I'm not sure I want kids but want some sort of direction as to what I am really truly feeling and not just 'feeling' because I'm imbalanced. 
I know that nobody can tell me what I am feeling. Nobody can tell me which direction to go. Will I ever get back to "normal"?  Or at least "normal enough" to be able to have kids, or have a life that's fulfilling to me? My feelings today have me questioning the direction of my life. 

No matter how much research I do on RAI, surgery, or long term medicating, I am more confused and scared than ever. Why can't there be a solution to this disease that doesn't make things worse! I've been reading that even if the Thyroid can get put under control, the actual disease (Graves') will continue to screw the body up.
There are risks with doing nothing, there are risks in taking medication, there are risks for taking RAI and risks in having surgery... Where can I find the solution with the least amount of risk for me?

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