Friday, March 19, 2010


So last night after I posted, I just stared into space for a while, then emotions came over me and I started crying.  Not sure if it was from feeling bad about how aggravated I get, or because I miss my sister, or something completely irrelevant. 

I haven't been sleeping much, and when i do, it's not very restful. I thought that it was supposed to get better once I'm on meds.? 

I've thinking a lot about how I've acted over the past year since I was aware something was not right with me. I've read over and over again how people have the "Graves' Rage" and Explode. I don't think I've had that severe of a case of that, I just tend to be more "snippy" and sarcastic. If I did explode, I usually had a good reason behind it. Truly. I've always been one to hold in my anger and frustration, but now I realize that it just makes me depressed. I hope to find a way to release my anger and frustration in a way that is harmless to me and others. Writing this blog has been a great step in the right direction, I think. Another thing I believe I've realized and am acting positively on, I've Always been a People Pleaser. Now, I make sure to either say no, or to at least tell whomever is asking of me that I will try, but cannot promise to get the results they want. I know now how important is Really is to take care of myself first. It's lesson Learning, not fully learned, so anyone reading this, have patience with me please! =)

I try to stay positive in all aspects of life and I know that lately I've been complaining a lot. For this I apologize. Sometimes the negativity of things become to strong for my will to handle. Today is a good day as you might have guessed, I am hoping it continues to be. The weather warming up has most definitely helped. =) Sunshine really does make me happy! 

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