Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Why do I feel like this? Why can't this all just go away...? I am so tired of not feeling like me. It's like there is another person living in my head and the me I knew just disappeared... 
I can't do anything without stressing myself out, my head is spinning in all different directions and I can't figure out how to stop it.
Being on the Vitamin D supplement has helped my mood, but everything else seems to have gotten worse again. 
Got blood drawn yesterday, appointment is next Monday. 
I have a feeling my levels have gone up, instead of leveling out. I think the drop in my dosage might have been too drastic. I've started loosing weight again, not a lot, but I'm not gaining or just being level like I was. The pains in my arms and legs have increased quite a bit. In fact, I'm not sleeping well and when I do actually sleep, I'm awoken by "charlie horses" in my legs and Feet. =[
The more research I do on this disease and the treatments, the more stressed I feel and more confused I become. I don't want to become any more obsessed, I feel I have nowhere to turn for clear cut answers.
I know that every person is different and this disease affects everyone at a different degree, but I am so frustrated that I can't seem to find the answers I'm looking for. What is right for Me? I'm so tired of going in circles with myself and others around me about what to do... It's been just under a year since being diagnosed and even though I am thrilled with the results I've gotten so far and that I know what I have to deal with, I still feel as confused and "in shock" that I have to deal with this as when I was first told. 

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