Sunday, February 21, 2010

argh!

Apparently I have been quite snippy.... Been having an attitude problem. I don't feel I do. I finally feel clear headed...I think. 
Two more weeks until I get to see a Dr., yay!!! Maybe getting on the right dosage of meds. will help me feel more "normal", if that is even a reality. I hope that the physical ailments will subside... Another symptom, Jaw Pain. It feels like I've been clenching my teeth for 3 days straight, yet it's only on my right side.


My forgetfulness is really getting to me. I wish I could retain knowledge for more than an hour or two (that's on a good day). Oh, I also wish my hearing would be better, even when I try to listen, I hear mumbling... =(
I truly feel bad for the people that are around me, the ones that have to deal with me when I go blank. 
I swore to myself that I would write in a journal or this blog at least once a week, if not everyday. Ha! Not happening... I keep forgetting, or don't feel that I need to because I am having a "good day". As mentioned above, SNIPPY! Too bad my being able to communicate is  coming across that I have a chip on my shoulder... Oh well! I'm trying hard not to let it get to me... otherwise it will consume my every thought that I might be pissing someone off... 


I have noticed that even though I feel so energized, I don't have the drive to get anything done. I stand up to do something and my legs feel like they are going to collapse with my weight on them, (I just found out after my scale has been dead for a month, that I lost 10 lbs.).
So much for getting toned and not loosing any more weight this year. I can't breathe well enough to get a good cardio work-out, then on op of that, I read that I need to be careful 'cause my heart is in danger with Graves'. Oh yay for me!
I know that I am not alone dealing with the auto-immune disease, but it sure feels like it everyday. People who don't know much about it are always asking me questions I don't know how to answer because I forgot what I read... Or there are people who don't think I am sick because of how well I try to handle myself, or brush it off... Or, there are those that are denying that there is truly something wrong with me.


My only hope in writing this blog, is that the people who mean the most to me and others who know someone with this disease will understand if only a little bit, that we (those with GD) are not just making things up. This disease is real. The symptoms are real. We have no control for our actions or emotions.

3 comments:

  1. Julie -
    Just want you to know you are not alone. I can sympathize with so many of your feelings. One of the most frusterating for me is the loss of my mind. I was diagnosed just a couple of weeks ago.
    Karen

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  2. Julie.. Hang in there! I've dealt with this for a whole year now and i promise it gets easier. You'll be able to deal with the symptoms and they'll start decreasing. :)

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  3. You're definitely not alone! Hang in there! It takes a while, but you will feel human again! I was diagnosed 2 years ago. It was horrible at first, but it has gotten much more managable!

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