1 year Post Surgery

I can't believe it's been a full year since my total thyroidectemy. It feels like a whole lifetime. In a way, I guess it has been. There have been so many changes in my life. Although the day to day can be stressful and exhausting, I really should not be complaining one bit. When I think how my life was, while battling to be in control of my body, my health, myself, compared to how I feel about it today, I couldn't be happier. 

My body has done well to adapt to not having a thyroid and I am thankful for that every morning. My scar is healing quite nicely and my mind is clearer today than it had been for years. 

I'm on a journey to find my nitch in life, and I'm sure I am on the right track. I am learning to live a more holistic lifestyle and am enjoying the ride. Every time I learn something new, I do think to myself, could I have done more to regulate or even heal my body naturally, instead of doing surgery? It's too late for me to go back, but I would encourage anyone looking to find what's right for them to research a more holistic way of healing their body. It's more than the physical, the emotional and mental needs to be in sync as well. This is difficult to achieve when you don't feel you know where to turn while being sick with something like hyperthyroidism. The mind is clouded, your emotions are all over the place, your body feels drastically different, not only everyday, but every hour. 

Find a support group, talk to your doctors, find someone in the holistic field that can give you guidance to living a while life without supplementing a natural healing process with western medical doctors' prescriptions. You need to do what is right for you, and although looking back I wish I had done more for myself in the healing process, I do not regret my decision to have my thyroid removed. I am better everyday for taking out that toxic gland. I am happier not having the weight of a decision to make anymore or the pressure to do something I am not ok with. My life is full of joy, without the dark cloud of that disease following my every move. My body is more in sync with my mind and heart, all around things are falling into place. There are bumps and ditches but such is the road of life. 

Some words of advice; Be grateful. Every day, be grateful for every thing that is happening to you. You may feel like the world is spinning out of control, but remember, everything happens for a reason. The trials you are put through, are what make you a better version of yourself. 

Stay strong and keep your circle small with the people that you love. 

Thank the people in your life for just being there. 

I Am grateful, for the journey I am on, for the trials I've been put through and for all the people in my life. Each one holds a place in my heart that can never be filled by anyone else. 

Love to you all,

Julie 

Surgery Consultation

I went to my surgery consultation on March 28th. I feel more confident that surgery is the right option for me. My Dr. is great, he's funny, had great mannerisms and I feel comfortable with his experience.
One of my best friends came with me and I know I wouldn't have been able to Absorb all the information had I been there alone. I knew most of what the Dr. spoke about from doing my own research. But now feel much better knowing that what I've read is accurate.

I have some appointments with my other doctors in preparation for the removal. I am on a beta blocker (which makes me feel different, not sure what it is, I just feel there's a change) and I had blood drawn yesterday to have my levels checked. I hope to get the results by next week.

The operation itself does not scare me at all, but the way I will feel afterwards is what is weighing on my mind. I have been aware if being so up and down for the past 3 1/2 years, that I don't know what healthy and "normal" should feel like. Will it be a more physical lightness and calm or will it be more emotional/mental? Or could it be both...? I know I've mentioned in past posts that I believe this is something I've had my entire life. The ups and downs correlate with many events in the past. So having consistent levels from now on will be a completely new experience that I am looking forward to with excitement, anticipation and nervousness.

I will update again when things are more concrete and closer to May 3rd, my surgery date.

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers concerns and encouraging words.

Coming out of Remission...?

The past few weeks I have been feeling some old symptoms creeping back. Had some sort of panic/anxiety attack on my way home from work tonight and my leg started shaking. Scared the crap out of me. My heart has been pounding erratically today. I am hoping that I'll feel better tomorrow, otherwise it's off to the ER. So hoping that GD is not going to take over my life again. I've been in remission for just over a year but now...I feel like life is spiraling out of control again. 

I didn't realize how many symptoms I have had of late, until I started writing them down tonight. So many of them I related to having a cold, or allergies or my menstrual cycle, but seeing them on paper reminds me how everything in the body is connected. 

Symptoms I've been feeling over the past two weeks

• Not sleeping much at night/exhausted all day
• Shooting pains in fingers and arms
• Rapid Heart beat
• Memory lapsing
• Brain fog
• Dry/gritty/heavy eyes
• Drastic Body Temp changes
• Stuffy head and ears
• Can't get deep breath
• Heartburn
• Gas
• Breast enlargement/tenderness
• Back//Hip pain
• Eyes not focusing
• Feeling Jittery/Shaking/trembling hands
• Legs shaking/"jumping" while driving

Where do I go from here?

I am going to my Endo in two weeks. I've been on 25mg. of Methimezole. I don't feel like I'm getting much better.

What to do?

Last time I saw my Dr., she said that if I am even considering having kids, I should do RAI and then wait 6 months to a year before even trying, in order for my body to adjust.
She has not even mentioned surgery or long term medication options.
Should I find a new Endo and or at least get a second opinion?
Should I go forward with the RAI?
What is the best thing for Me to do?


I can't stand the emotional imbalance anymore. 
I don't like who I've become, or the feelings rushing through me at "warp speed" at any moment of the day. I guess I'm just making myself a little nuts because I've been feeling that want kids...Now. Or maybe I'm not sure I want kids but want some sort of direction as to what I am really truly feeling and not just 'feeling' because I'm imbalanced. 
I know that nobody can tell me what I am feeling. Nobody can tell me which direction to go. Will I ever get back to "normal"?  Or at least "normal enough" to be able to have kids, or have a life that's fulfilling to me? My feelings today have me questioning the direction of my life. 


No matter how much research I do on RAI, surgery, or long term medicating, I am more confused and scared than ever. Why can't there be a solution to this disease that doesn't make things worse! I've been reading that even if the Thyroid can get put under control, the actual disease (Graves') will continue to screw the body up.
There are risks with doing nothing, there are risks in taking medication, there are risks for taking RAI and risks in having surgery... Where can I find the solution with the least amount of risk for me?

uugghh

I went to my Endocrinologist on Monday, she increased my dose from 20 mg of Methimazole to 25 mg. I thought things would be getting better. But starting Tuesday, my right eye has been twitching almost nonstop, the shooting pains are back and I am very cranky!

I want this all to stop! The thought of RAI still scares me, even though friends who have had it,  have said they wished they'd done it sooner instead of going through what I am. On the other hand, this could all go into remission...for a while. Apparently it's destined to come back.  The other option (which my Dr. has Not mentioned) is surgery to remove my thyroid. To me, none of these options seem right. 

I think we as a society need to find ways to prevent thyroid disease as well as treatment options. Future generations shouldn't have to go through this.
But how does one go about finding ways or researching something so complex?
My plan for the year is to hunt on the internet and find out as much as I can about the thyroid, iodine, how they interact, and what can be done to prevent the thyroid from becoming an interuption to life as we know it.