One week until Surgery

May 3rd is coming up quicker than I am prepared for. It has taken so long to get everything scheduled that it feels like a year, and now I'm down to the wire. The anticipation is like nothing I've ever felt before, a mix of emotions, I don't really know how to interpret some. Anticipation, fear, excitement, nervousness, relief, and anxiety are the ones I recognize. Maybe the blend of all is what is causing my confusion.

This week has been a bit stressful, strenuous even. I have had more blood drawn in two days than I have had in six months prior. More questions asked than I knew how to answer. The questions were probably the hardest to "deal" with. Detailed answers required to clear me for the impending procedure. The knowledge of my physical being, mental stability and emotional awareness has been pushed aside in order to function in my daily routine, now surfaced and scrutinized. The stresses I've been avoiding have now been shoved into the forefront of my mind. I have now have been analyzing and probably over analyzing every detail of my life of the past six months. The timeframe of my spike in hormonal levels. I am exhausted, frustrated and amazed at my ability to so easily push aside things that make me, me, just in order to be able to be responsible. Being aware of what I am capable of is empowering, mind blowing and scary. I am nervous and excited about what I will be capable of once my body is functioning at healthy, optimal levels.

So many questions swarm in my mind. Who will I be? Will my personality change? Will my feelings surface? Will my focus be regained? For so long I have been diseased, my whole life an emotional, physical and mental roller coaster. Will my body and my mind finally be one? Will I be able to handle the changes? Will the battle of too much energy and not enough finally balance out? Will I finally be able to consistently follow through on things I say I'll do?

The anticipation is sometimes too much to bare, and so as is my usual response, i am pushing aside the feelings and thoughts in order to get through the next seven days.

As always, thank you for your support, thoughts and prayers.

Side note: my surgery day will be chronicled by pictures and videos from my closest friends. They have been the best support system anyone could ask for. I am grateful beyond words for them.
I will update as soon as I am able. :)

Goodbye old and hello New!

Labs with Ranges

Ok, so here are my labs and what the report states as the ranges. 

My Dr. says I'm "within normal range", but I do not feel like I am. Unless of course I just don't remember What "Normal" is anymore... I did feel the best when taking 30mg/day of methimezole.

6/16/10

TSH 3rd Gen.: 0.01 - Low  (Range: 0.40 - 4.50)
T4 Total: 7.4 (Range: 4.5 -12.5)
Free T4 (T7): 2.2 (Range: 1.4 - 3.8)
T3 Uptake: 30 (Range: 22-35)

8/3/10

TSH 3rd Gen.: 0.29 - Low (Range: 0.40 - 4.50)
T4 Total: 5.4 (Range: 4.5 - 12.5)
Free T4 (T7): 1.6 (Range: 1.4 - 3.8)
T3 Uptake: 30 (Range: 22 - 35)
Medication reduced about a week after these results. Started feeling crappy again...

9/7/10
TSH 3rd Gen.:1.4 (Range: 0.40-4.50)
T4 Total: 6.0 (Range: 4.5-12.5)
Free T4 (T7):1.8 (Range: 1.4 - 3.8)
T3 Uptake: 30 (Range: 22-35)

10/25/10 Most Recent
TSH 3rd Gen.: 3.5 (Range: 0.40-4.50)
T4 Total: 4.8 (Range: 4.5-12.5)
Free T4 (T7): 1.3 - Low (Range: 1.4 - 3.8)
T3 Uptake: 28 (Range: 22-35)

I'd also like to mention that I was tested for Vitamin D levels and I am so glad I take it.

6/16/10
Vit. D: 24 (Range of 30-100)

8/3/10 - on 50,000 ui/2 x week

Vit. D: 64 (Range of 30-100)

10/25/10 - on 1,000 ui/day

Vit. D: 41 (Range of 30-100)

Reducing my dose of meds again...

Ok, so I went to my Endocrinologist today. It's been over two months now since she reduced my medication. (From 30mg/day to 20mg/day) My last visit showed that my levels were raised, but she said I should continue with the dosage. 

Here are my levels from the past few months:

6/16/10

TSH 3rd Gen.: 0.01 - Low
T4 Total: 7.4
Free T4 (T7): 2.2
T3 Uptake: 30

8/3/10

TSH 3rd Gen.: 0.29 - Low
T4 Total: 5.4
Free T4 (T7): 1.6
T3 Uptake: 30


Medication reduced about a week after the above results.


9/7/10
TSH 3rd Gen.:1.4
T4 Total: 6.0
Free T4 (T7):1.8
T3 Uptake: 30

10/25/10 Most Recent
TSH 3rd Gen.: 3.5
T4 Total: 4.8
Free T4 (T7): 1.3 - Low
T3 Uptake: 28


Not sure exactly how read these, so if you do, please help explain...?

My Dr. said that since I'm "obviously Not going into remission", that I should "seriously consider RAI unless I want to have kids right away"... (Does this seem normal?)
She also said "I want to see what reducing your dose to 7.5mg/2x day of methimezole will do for you". 
So, here we go...next visit is in January, hope I don't become too crazy before then.


I was seriously considering finding a new Dr. and actually called to make an appointment, but since I wasn't able to get one right away, I decided that I should hear my current Dr. out and compile all my notes and research together and make sure that it's not just Me being paranoid about my care. I've realized that what my current Endo is saying and doing seems to be quite normal in my situation. If I am wrong, I hope that I will find out sooner rather than later... I do find it odd though that she has Never once mentioned surgery as a possible option...