Let's see...

...what Vitamin D will do for me. 

My Endo increased my dose of Methimezole to 30mg./day - 15mg in the morning, 15mg. at night and she also gave me 50,000 iu of Vitamin D twice a week for 8 weeks. I need to be 1,000 iu from then on. I really hope that I start to feel better. Today is the first dose of Vit. D...fingers are crossed.

I've been researching  and reading articles about iodine in the diet and what foods are high in iodine. It's amazing, I'm surprised I can eat anything. I have noticed in my own daily life how I feel much "crazier" on days where I realize I've had more iodine rich foods. I plan to be much more conscience of what I eat... This is gonna suck, but I know in the long run it'll be better for me.

Blood is so cool

Got my blood drawn this morning, worst part, I had to fast! (I'm not a happy person if I'm hungry!) 
I know it sounds horrible, but I like watching the viles fill with my blood. But I don't like the feeling of lightheaded-ness afterward... 

Blood amazes me, how can something so "simple" be so intricate and amazing? How can they know so much from such a small amount? I am so very thankful that it is possible. I can't wait to get my results, is the dosage I'm on doing the job well enough? Do I have to have it increased? Will this be the sample that causes my Dr. to say, "We need a new plan."? I think I'm ready to push forward, not let this disease get to me anymore. I want to be done with it, I need to know what's next!

Strange

I woke up this morning not feeling very "with it", but as the day goes on, I feel much more mentally clear. Although, the pain running through my arms is almost unbearable. I'm at work, so it's difficult to keep myself in check. I want to scream every time I feel the pain, but all I do is squeeze and pray. I might end up with bruises this week if I can't find another way to help it subside. 

Two days in...

I haven't noticed many positive changes since changing my dosage.  Instead, I have been feeling even more tired than before, although I have been sleeping for longer intervals during the night... My body feels so weak and useless. It hurts to carry my purse for more than two minuets. I feel so mentally worn out, emotionally "stuck", I really have no other way to describe how I feel. My throat has been feeling swollen, but not to the point of pain, just annoyance. I've also noted that my energy levels have been fluctuating quite drastically. Right now, I've had one large cup of coffee and I feel ready to run a marathon, but when I stand up, I feel so tired and lightheaded.
My heart feels like it's pounding out of my chest just by walking up a couple flights of stairs... ={
I hope beyond all hopes, that this Will get better and that my life Will return to "normal".
A week and a half and I see my Endo., I hope that she will have some better news for me.

Another thing that has me all mixed up, I feel that even though my symptoms are not as bad as others, I can't help but complain and wish it wasn't me. I know every person is different and everyone's body is different, I just feel so guilty for complaining and trying to find a solution to fix My "problems". Things Could be worse, and I am thankful they are not. I hope that I am not making others think I'm a jerk for complaining while they are dealing with worse symptoms than me.

Trying something different

I've decided to start splitting my dosage, I'll be taking it twice a day instead of taking it all at once. I am hoping that it will help with how I feel. 10 mg in the morning and 15 mg before bed. 
We'll see how it goes, but if I don't see any improvement in 10 days, I'm going back to taking it all at once. The less I have have to remember, the better!

Where do I go from here?

I am going to my Endo in two weeks. I've been on 25mg. of Methimezole. I don't feel like I'm getting much better.

What to do?

Last time I saw my Dr., she said that if I am even considering having kids, I should do RAI and then wait 6 months to a year before even trying, in order for my body to adjust.
She has not even mentioned surgery or long term medication options.
Should I find a new Endo and or at least get a second opinion?
Should I go forward with the RAI?
What is the best thing for Me to do?


I can't stand the emotional imbalance anymore. 
I don't like who I've become, or the feelings rushing through me at "warp speed" at any moment of the day. I guess I'm just making myself a little nuts because I've been feeling that want kids...Now. Or maybe I'm not sure I want kids but want some sort of direction as to what I am really truly feeling and not just 'feeling' because I'm imbalanced. 
I know that nobody can tell me what I am feeling. Nobody can tell me which direction to go. Will I ever get back to "normal"?  Or at least "normal enough" to be able to have kids, or have a life that's fulfilling to me? My feelings today have me questioning the direction of my life. 


No matter how much research I do on RAI, surgery, or long term medicating, I am more confused and scared than ever. Why can't there be a solution to this disease that doesn't make things worse! I've been reading that even if the Thyroid can get put under control, the actual disease (Graves') will continue to screw the body up.
There are risks with doing nothing, there are risks in taking medication, there are risks for taking RAI and risks in having surgery... Where can I find the solution with the least amount of risk for me?

I don't understand

So I've been back from my Wedding and Honeymoon trip for about two weeks. I want to go back...kind of. While I was on the island of St. Lucia, my stomach was upset everyday. But I felt absolutely great otherwise. 
Since being home, my eyes have been twitching again, been getting the shooting pains through my arms. Headaches have also ensued upon my life, and most annoying above all, my mood is another thing I have been trying to deal with. 
What is a person supposed to do when they can't stand anything, including themselves?